I have had the sad and uncomfortable experience of having to intervene in situations where one party in a dispute has overreacted. On more than one of those occasions the antagonist has turned to me and said, “You don’t know them. Wait till you find out what they are really like!”
Now, there must be no justification for angry outbursts or revenge of any kind, but I am sorry to say that I found out the hard way that I really didn’t know some people as well as I thought I did. It became clear that some people had a talent for infuriating others and acting as if they bore no responsibility for the outcome.
I know I am stating the obvious when I say, “Before entering any relationship, it is wise to get to know the person or persons first.” But for as obvious as it sounds, it is advice often ignored.
Christians must pray for insight into the characters of others. Fail to do this and you will add yourself to the line of “the blind being led by the blind.” Remember, you are first and foremost spiritual. So, given that you have devoted your life to Christlikeness, you now conduct all your relationships within that paradigm of holiness. Therein is either a shared holiness, or a relationship where you bring the holiness with you.
We cannot bestow integrity upon others. When people hide their true self under a disguise we cannot do much about it until the real self appears. When that happens we need to get over our embarrassment in a hurry and do something about it. The best thing to do is talk to people who know them. If you hear them say something like, “I wondered when that would come out?” it is time to act!
Where there is no integrity there is no holiness.
John Staiger
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