“Pick a Day.”
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22).If I asked you to write down the names of the 7 most likely people that you would call during a personal crisis, who would be on that list? Why them? My guess is that mutual trust would be high on the list of reasons why. Further analysis may reveal why you might even call one person over another. Some problems are huge. They involve whole groups and require lots of support and resources over a long period of time. Though our personal problems invariably involve others, I am not thinking here about the major crises that hit us. I am thinking of those maddening issues that cycle through life—money, kids, teenagers, husband, wife, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, church stuff, neighbours, school, work, etc. Many of these are handled well enough in the normal course of life, but the emotions definitely intensify when they culminate into one of those ‘perfect storms.’
This is when we need our support team to come to our rescue. And this is when I will bow to greater wisdom and share with you the counselling advice of my preacher friend, Doug Greenway. He says:“My wife and I have done a good bit of marriage counselling. When dealing with hurting people, I always ask the same 4 questions: (1) How are you helping YOURSELF? (Eating, sleeping, mood.) (2) What support system do you have in place? (There are 7 days in a week, and you need 7 “arms” to lean on, so you don’t wear anybody out as you check in daily with one.) (3) What spiritual resources do you have? (4) How much stick-to-it-tiveness can you muster?”It is obvious that the second question struck me most. A support group of Seven people to take one day each, rather than one person bearing the whole burden of the week.
It is common to become obsessive when hurt. The world can shrink down to the size of the immediate problem. That is why talking to others about it can be a welcome relief. We must seek comfort, wisdom and counsel from the godly (and only the godly). All of us need to thank God for those staunch friends who have stuck by us through thick and thin. Those who live out: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal.6:2). And maybe when you see a friend hurting, you need to say, ‘pick a day—any day!.’